Tricky situation

Think of a situation where you found your child's behaviour difficult to manage.

The point of this exercise is that your child feels in the same boat as you but they are a child trying to navigate all of those complex and big feelings.

You are the parent and the adult and, whilst you shouldn’t expect perfection from yourself, you need to step back. It’s important to check in with yourself and be aware of what emotional signals you are sending to your child. Make sure your child is safe and then take time to pause and reflect. Only when you are calm are you in a position to help your child feel calm and safe again. Unfortunately when we react to a child’s behaviour instinctively we may say things we later regret and feel bad about it.

It takes 45 minutes for adrenaline to leave your body – when your child has this rush they can’t listen, can't engage, or may not even be able to see you. You should be waiting at least 45 minutes to have that discussion about a situation/ incident. Giving yourself this time is also important to allow yourself to respond calmly. 

Double empathy

  • Only 7% of communication is verbal
  • The rest is made up of tone of voice (38%), body language, facial expressions and action (55%)
  •  Often the combinations are confusing
  • Research has shown that ND people have trouble figuring out what non-ND people are thinking and feeling
  • But the problem goes both ways – people who are non-ND also have trouble figuring out what ND people are thinking and feeling
  • This struggle to understand each other is called the double empathy problem
Why is empathy important?

Read this article - although this focuses on ASD, it is true for all Neurodevelopmental conditions. The expectation is that Neurodiverse people should learn to fit in with mainstream society. It is on them to understand those considered to be neurotypical. And to fit in. And yet, all the research shows, that it is much harder for ND people to make these adjustments, and live up to expectations.

What skills does your child already have?

This is an amazing opportunity to consider how amazing your child already is. Have a look and think about these questions below:super kid.png

  • How have you nurtured these skills so far?
  • What helps?
  • What hinders?
  • How does today's world stamp those skills out?
  • In our world today, how can we foster the skills our children have?
  • Does your child have a special skill - their superpower?

 

 

 

Remember that weeks 1 and 2 are about laying the foundations for the strategies and support to build from. Weeks 3-6 explore different presentations and how to support them.

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